Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
