I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
