i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
