I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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