Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize