What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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