I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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