if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my vag is so smooth its legendary
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
This baby is an asshole
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
