Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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