so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
