spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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