And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
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A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The ass gains better be worth it
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