i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize