she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.