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i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
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