So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He felt like a one man threesome
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize