Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
