I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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