playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
