My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
