summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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