She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
