dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
