SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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