sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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