yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
too bad you live with your parents still
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So vagazzling was a success
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
