you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
