Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
