So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
