I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
