Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
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I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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