just tell him i said nine months
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I still have a little drunk in my system
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
