the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize