I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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