I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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