And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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