Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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