Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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