Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
