I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize