He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize