Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
did i walk over a car last night?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
