U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
