you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
