im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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