honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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