I feel like I'm in dance class right now
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
