You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
