Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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