How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
