What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
