the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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