It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
