dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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