Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Can you bring me the toilet please
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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