Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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