dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
