Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
In America we eat man semen.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
