my vag is so smooth its legendary
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
