Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
