just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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